THE IMPORTANCE OF THE RITUAL OF REMEMBER-ING
"REMEMBERING is the heart's own way of holding our loved ones close and keeping us in constant touch with those who mean the most."
"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love becomes a part of us.
Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year! Friends, thank you all for expressing how you have been a friend to me!
I am sorry that it took me a long time show up in FB and to have the courage to articulate that I am still alive and that my life has been "different" because my life choices have changed.
I was anticipating that it would not make sense to you that I seemed to have thrashed everything that I have worked for, particularly from what had "symbolized" my total life commitment to God, to all others and to the world. That is to say, my embracing and leaving my Life Commitment to Religious Life.
In fact, my WHOLE idea of vocation and vocation priorities have changed and I did not know whether you would understand or that you would accept me for this drastic life decision.
I now just believed that my Vocation is Our Shared Vocation.
Whether religious or secular life, there is always something greater that happens when we embrace a particular life. I have learned to understand better that OUR VOCATION is more of what of Frederick Buechner's articulation, THAT IS, to be at "the meeting place where we address the greatest world needs and where we most satisfy our greatest need."
I am sorry that, maybe, I did not trust you enough or I just presumed that you would understand that I just have to move on in my life. That means, that I had to temporarily cut off from all my present and past connections . But am sorry that my absence and silence has taken me a long time.
However, going back to Facebook last week made me realize that I may have been totally in isolation. In your communications and messages, you showed me that you can understand my long silence and my seeming uncaring absence. It's either simply because you might have known me as a genuine friend, who just happened to be different and who have process his life events differently or you just believe that somehow anything is possible on line and that we would connect one way or the other.
I have chosen to believe that you must have known me well and my pattern of relationships and that you are my true friend. I usually detach and be out of circulation to see things from a better perspective but I always come back.. however and whenever... as more more enlightened and profoundly individual. And that I never change, I always carry you in my mind and heart.
I know that this trust should have been a two way street. I have to trust you as well as a friend, just as you have trusted me that I always consider you as a friend, no matter what.
I want to start right now, by saying sorry for not having enough faith in you. I also want to thank you for trusting me and for showing me that you are a genuine friend!
Secondly, I should let you know what you need to hear. In leaving religious life, I did not turn my back from what God had granted me, I am turning toward the direction that God has been daring me to venture on my life's journey.
I just have known that in my absence, I have missed a lot and this is something that I have to bear and to be sorry for. I know that I could not make up for those moments that I missed - like being with my cousin Joel who passed away early this year, being with you on special occasions like our class reunions, and other landmarks in life that I could have shared with you. I really do apologize for not having to have done better.
The Christmas and the New Year Season is appropriate to invite you to start all over again. Just like how I have been pre-occupied with appreciating the beauty of landscapes and looking at them with fresh lens, I invite you to reframe how we see ourselves, other people, God and the world around us.
I cannot promise that I would be around always since I have always been a recluse all my life. I am also starting a new phase in my life this year and would move on to relocate somewhere where God leads me. I just want to touch base and to tell you how grateful I have been for you and for your friendship. I will try be more obvious and would visit FB once in while and would join you in spirits in celebrating our friendships!
Happy New Year to you all!
FYI, for a long time I cannot read my messages from the Brothers' Intranet Access and had to re-configure my lost internet connections and aquaint myself with the nuances of Facebook and Myspace. Would post every once in a while on my webiste as I would be connecting with my other links soon as time permits. But promise to be around and to check on you as well. Love you all!
